1 definition by reversecowgrl

Sal is the most stunning, godliest man of our universe. If sal ever gets near you in new york city, I will kill you because I'm not you. I love his perfect symmetrical figure and his smooth chocolatey hair. I want him to kiss my face until I melt into a large pile of his cologne. Every time he says God Bless, I feel gods blessings as I pretend that Sal is sitting on top of me caressing my vulnerable crisp face. To put my adoration for Sal in simpler terms, I would stand in front of a moving subway train for him. I'll kill 10,000 men for you, Sal. I'll destroy every last cat in a corn maze, for Sal. If Sal's tonight's big loser, then later he'll tonight's big winner. I'd massage sals plump juicy booty for him. If Murr ever gets near him again, Murr won't see tomorrow. MURR-DER. I'll admit, if Joe gave me kissies, I'd fall to the ground like our sexy man sal. But if THE SAL HIMSELF kissed me good, I'd ascend into god's hands. Sal, you know who's the most sexiest man alive? Read the first word. Sal, if you're reading this, we're engaged. Sal is more powerful than any god you may or may not believe in. Please join my Salvatorecult, where we'll sacrifice cats, stack up on sneakers, swim in dirty swamps, and circulate the great Daddy Sal Squishmellow Statue. His superpower is to make us laugh until we poop out our stomachs and make fall helplessly in love with his incredible abs. I love you, Crangis. Crangis McBasketball. We're forever, for-lifers.