10 definitions by joedaprogramma

'Shit-Cargo' is an insulting name for the City of Chicago given by Minnesotans to that sweaty load of feces in Illinois that calls itself 'great' every chance it gets. (The full formal insult usage is 'Shitty of Shit-Cargo'.)

Minnesotans are particularly fond of referring to the murderous load this way when forced to travel there on business or for a funeral. From the snot-nosed North Shore to the goddamned ghetto South Side, Shit-Cargo is a : stinky, bullet-ridden, corrupt & rotten pile of shit.

The phrase uttered by a seriously constipated person as a good-luck expression just before trying a waxy suppository for the very first time (typically one you steal from your grandma's medicine cabinet).

20 minutes later, you find out how fuckin' wise grandma actually is.

To lose ones temper in a surprising and entertaining way, exhibiting courage and testiness that clearly proves one's status as a non-pussy.

The Breakfast of fuck-ups : not for everyone every day but certainly everyone at least once. A breakfast of bad ideas one eats early in the morning then shits throughout the day in a series of missteps and failures like : flat tires, lost car keys, broken friendships, tax audits and fist fights over low-priced household goods or parking spaces. Always to be avoided.

A hairpothesis is an enthusiastic idea one gets about one's hairstyle that is promptly implemented often without good result.

A Jersey Louie is a right-hand turn followed by an immediate U-turn near the same intersection, in simulation of the compulsory jug-handle left turns common in the State of New Jersey. They intentionally effectuate a very safe left turn over the intersection , and are similar in shape to a jug-handle turn (without actually being one). A Jersey Louie is a ideal for when an accident or other fuck-up is clogging your egress leftward. Legend has it that Jersey Louies are the informal antecedent of formal jug-handle intersections.

The memorable and gross experience of getting a really bad handshake from a limp-wristed person. The handshake feels like trying to grip the head of a dead fish and reflects someone who was never taught to shake hands properly.

The feeling of revulsion : typically persists for at least 30 seconds, recurs every time it is thought about AND especially when one sees "the limpy" again. Its recurring nature casts "the limpy" in a perpetually bad light. The sufferer of the experience sometimes foolishly tries to correct it by retrying the handshake only to get slipped the fish again, making the memory & suffering even worse.